We all have toxic traits whether we want to admit it or not. Thats the hardest part—admitting. Often times, we’re either in denial or unaware of these traits and their affects on our lives. If any of these apply to you, its time for some self reflection.

  1. Pessimism. Pessimists usually see the negative in every situation and never try to “look on the bright side”. This type of thinking may prevent you from taking risks or trying new things and ultimately, being happy. Pessimism usually stems from this underlying fear of “what if”. What if I fail? What if things don’t go as planned? Well, what if you succeed? What if your plan runs smoothly? Often times, even if a situation does end up supporting your negative thoughts, it’s probably not the worst thing in the world, but because your mind was already set on this, you’ll tend to think so. Sometimes its okay to just let things be. Let them unfold without you worrying or making any assumptions. Its okay to prepare for the worst, but don’t speak it into existence. Be positive.
  2. Being too comfortable. We tend to feel safe in our comfort zones. We like our routined lives; knowing whats next—no surprises. We don’t feel like ourselves when we’re trying something new or switching the routine up a bit. While this is all understandable, its not okay. This is no different than your partner becoming too comfortable in your relationship, and we all hate that, don’t we? No more surprises.  No new adventures. No compliments. It becomes boring and repetitive right? Well, look at your life. Is it boring and repetitive? When’s the last time you tried something new? No changes=no growth.
  3. Narcissism. I’ll always promote confidence and self-love, but at some point, you have to draw the line. A narcissist is a person who is overly concerned with him or herself. This person is vain and egotistic. Love yourself, of course, but also understand that the world doesn’t revolve around you.
  4. Selfishness. Often times narcissism and selfishness go hand in hand, but you can be one without the other. Love yourself enough to be able to give some of that love to those around you, especially when they really need it. There will be times where being selfish is necessary, but you have to be able to make the distinction. Unnecessary selfishness not only hurts those around you, but destroys your character as well.
  5. Being too generous. On the other hand, giving too much can break you down too. Many overly generous people focus on putting others before themselves. While this may seem good to those around you and make you feel like a great person, it can become unhealthy. While you’re giving all of this time and energy to others, you start to forget to check in on yourself. Your wants and needs get neglected and you can’t figure out why you’re depressed or unhappy. You have to put yourself first sometimes. Living a fulfilling life requires balance. Find your center.
  6. Accountability issues. A lot of us struggle with admitting our wrongs. We like to play the blame game to avoid confronting our own toxic behaviors. Being able to hold yourself accountable shows strength and growth. It takes much more courage to admit than to constantly be in denial. It’s okay to say “I was wrong” or “it was my fault”. In most cases, it’s necessary.
  7. Constantly criticizing others. In many cases, people criticize others to make themselves feel better; to cope with whatever inner issues they’re dealing with at the moment. In other cases, people will criticize others because they feel that they’re better than them. Belittling these people will make this person feel empowered and confident. Either way, this judgmental behavior is far from positive. It’s okay to give constructive criticism in an attempt to help, but some criticism is just unnecessary. If you find yourself doing this, figure out why first, then you’ll be able to work on it.
  8. Holding grudges. LET. THAT. HURT. GO. If someone close to you did something to hurt your feelings or make you angry, tell them. TALK ABOUT IT. If someone did something that affected you to the point where you never want to talk to them again, fine, cut them off, but by all means, LET IT GO. You’re hurting yourself more than you’re hurting them by dwelling on whatever they did in the past. Moving on from situations allows you to clear your mind and release those negative burdens. A grudge is a burden, because whether you admit it or not, it still bothers you. You must forgive in order to move on. You MUST move on in order to grow.
  9. Close-mindedness. Stop being afraid to take chances and try new things. In many cases, “the worst that could happen” isn’t bad at all. Close-mindedness is usually accompanied by negative thoughts which obviously disrupt or stop you from finding your inner peace. Don’t rule things out so quickly. You never know, the outcome could be phenomenal.
  10. Inconsistency. I know that this is a major problem of mine. See, the first step is admitting. I’ll go to the gym for a week straight, and then, in the following week, I won’t go at all. It’s important to be consistent in all aspects of your life; work, hobbies, relationships, etc. Inconsistency will definitely hold you back from achieving your goals. It’ll also affect those around you and people grow tired of dealing with inconsistent people. Consistency requires you to push yourself. If you really want something, you need to be devoted to it.

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