2019 seems to have been a tough one for a lot of us. I think many people would agree with me when I say I AM READY FOR 2020. Through it all though, I am grateful for everything I learned this year.
Personally, I had a lot of curve balls thrown at me in 2019. If you’ve been keeping up with my blogs, you’ll know that I started the year jobless, which had already planted the idea that this was going to be a terrible year for me—and that’s where I went wrong.
One word that became increasingly popular this year was “manifestation“. To manifest means to imagine yourself with something you want or as the person you want to be. For example, if you want to be an actress, in order to manifest that, you have to see yourself as that person before and until it happens. It’s similar to speaking things into existence.
When I found myself heading down this negative path, I started manifesting happiness. I knew that was all I really wanted—ultimate happiness. From there, I created my blog and started to “look on the bright side”.
Because of this, I didn’t complain about this year’s lows, I learned from them. Here are some of 2019’s major lessons:
1. Keep Going/Never Give Up
When I lost my job, I was on unemployment for some time and honestly living my best life. But that got really old, really quick. So, before I lost my mind and my funds, I started interviewing. I figured it would be easy to get a new job since I had a degree and some experience, not to mention, I was working on my Master’s. Well, sad to say, I thought wrong. I had never been told “no” so much in my life. It took me FIVE months to find a job, and honestly, by month three I had already wanted to give up, but, I didn’t. Every loss became a lesson and every “no” only made me stronger. I started looking in the mirror, trying to figure out what I was doing wrong opposed to blaming everyone else, until I finally got it right.
2. Who Cares What People Think?
I always said I didn’t care what people thought about me, but 2019 taught me that was a lie. Tan his year, I learned what it really feels like to not care about the thoughts and feelings of others when it comes to me and my actions. It began with my very first solo photoshoot earlier this year. I’ve done group shoots, but really never had the confidence to get in front of the camera alone until this year. I agreed to a shoot that was very revealing as a way to embrace every part of myself. I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and prove to myself that I was fearless. However, I knew that the social media skeptics wouldn’t see it that way, so I was hesitant. I talked to the people closest to me before posting and they really encouraged me because they knew the real reason why I was doing it. Honestly, if it wasn’t for them, I probably would still care about what people think today. Sharing those photos with everyone gave me a sense of relief and even freedom. I knew what they represented and didn’t care what anyone else thought about them. From then on, I continued to do things for me, regardless of anyone else’s opinion.
Toward the middle of the year, my priorities started piling up. I was working and in grad school full time, and also bartending on the side (which i’m still doing now). I’m someone who needs to busy, and yet, becomes overwhelmed easily. Strange, I know. This year, I learned to balance. I learned the importance of making time for me in between my busy schedule. I learned that it’s okay to tell people no sometimes. I learned that living life too freely has its cons. I often question why I would ever decide to take on so many different responsibilities: two jobs, school, my relationship, friends and family; but I’ve come to realize that It’s okay as long as there’s balance. I’ve just accepted this in the recent months, so in 2020, I plan to really put it into practice, ensuring that I have schedules. I never liked schedules because I hate routine, but, I need balance.
4. Think Longterm
This year taught me to think longterm , especially when it comes to money and stability. I’ve always been impulsive—quick to do/say something and even quicker to make a purchase. I had such a difficult time saving money for years because I never thought longterm. Fortunately yet unfortunately, adulthood hit hard this year so my mindset had to change. I had bigger goals and even bigger bills, which made me realize that I can’t just spend money for fun anymore. I can’t just go on living in the now. In 2019, I learned to save and invest; to sacrifice, all for the future.
5. Not All Men Are The Same
Finally, this year really did show me that not all men are the same. I fell in love in 2019 and I’m honestly still in shock because I didn’t think I’d end up here so soon. After my last relationship, I felt I needed about 5 years to myself. Clearly I was wrong. I met my boyfriend in 2018, however, it was the beginning of this year when I really knew he was different in every way possible. I don’t want to give away to much because this story will get it’s own blog, but, just know that, this year really opened my eyes to the concept of love and men in general. When you let love find you opposed to looking for it yourself, you’ll realize this as well.
I could probably write a book about everything I learned this year but I’ll stop here. I think these were the most valuable. I’m so excited for 2020 because nothing but good can come from these lessons. I’m sure I’ll be tested, but I can honestly say that I’m ready for it.
Before we let 2019 go, what has this year taught you?